What happens when a cohousing community changes in values, lifestyle, and “community culture” over time? And how might this affect you as an a new incoming member?

I have a good friend who lives with her young son in a cohousing community she helped to start. When she and the other founders started the community, food in common house meals was organic, with both omnivore and vegetarian options. The cooks bought organic vegetables and fruit; whole grain bread, cereals, and other grains; and organically raised eggs, chicken, fish, and meat. They used honey and other healthy sweeteners; never white sugar.

The original group also had a rudimentary knowledge of effective group process skills, and knew how to schedule and conduct mediations between members when necessary.

If you’re looking for a cohousing core group or existing community to join, you’re probably thinking about what you want. You may also be considering what personal characteristics tend to lead to enjoying —even thriving — in cohousing.

     Living in community myself, and having talked with many others who live in community (both cohousing and non-cohousing), here are the personal characteristics I think help a person thrive in cohousing.

     • Confidence, self-acceptance, self-esteem

     • Assertiveness

     • Humility, willingness to listen and learn

     • Willingness to serve, to contribute to something larger than yourself

“The results of this water test are enough to make the hair on the back of anyone’s neck stand up!” the scientist at the testing lab told my friend.

Soon after she bought a home in a brand-new cohousing community, the weather turned cold. She and her neighbors turned on the heat, and the water that came out of the hot water faucets smelled strongly like magic markers, and burned the eyes and skin. Lab reports revealed a situation that turned into a nightmare for her and this community.

While no one in my friend’s community had expected toxic water, they were all well aware that the core group’s decisions about the heating system had been contentious, and they made their choice despite strong warnings from a local heating specialist.

If you’re looking for a forming cohousing community, learn to “read between the lines” in directory listings and websites.

• I observed in my book Creating a Life Together that only about 10 percent of forming intentional community groups succeed, and about 90 percent fail. And while the statistics for cohousing communities are better — Chuck Durrett estimates that about a third of all cohousing core groups succeed in building their community — many do fail, and sometimes this means people lose a great deal of money. So in order to join a group that has a good chance of success, I’d want you to know as much as possible ahead of time about the process of forming a cohousing community. And as much as possible about how successful core groups function.

Fostermamas (see blog entry below) also mentioned that their family is multi-generational and multiracial. And on June 27th, Annette wrote a blog response, "Regarding ethnic diversity, what are the statistics?"

David Entin of Rocky Hill Cohousing in Northampton, Massachusetts (and Board Member of Coho/US and co-host of its "Research" Topic Room), responds with the following:

On August 1st, Fostermamas wrote in the "Researching Your Cohousing Community" Forum in this "Finding Your Community" Topic Room (http://www.cohousing.org/ma/findingforum/test):

"As potential co-housing members we're constantly refining what factors are important in our cohousing search. Each visit to a potential community has given us more insight into what we're looking for in our ideal community.

"After visiting our first cohousing community we decided that our multiracial family probably wasn't a good fit for a rural community.


"After visiting our second community we decided we wanted an older established community that already had some of it's "kinks" ironed out.


"After visiting our third community we decided we didn't want anything strictly urban as we are current urbanites looking for more green in our lives.

Friday night (7/25), I gave a talk at the "Community Seeker's Fair" which kicked off the NICA Gathering here in Portland (described below).

I talked about characteristics of people who tend to do well in community: confidence and assertiveness, humility (they're not mutually exclusive), a willingness to pitch in and work, and a willingness to contribute to something larger than oneself. I asked members of the audience to come up with the characteristics, to call them out. "Humility!" someone shouted. "Not being a know-it-all!" said someone else. "Being willing to listen!" said yet another.

Right now I'm at the NICA Annual Sumner Gathering in Portland, Oregon.

NICA, the Northwest Intentional Communities Association, is the largest regional communities network in the US. It's members are cohousers and members of non-cohousing communities in Washington and Oregon. The Gathering is hosted this year by Columbia Ecovillage. The founders of Portland Permaculture Institute, a permaculture teaching facility on a four-acre farm in the middle of Portland, became founder/developers of this cohousing-model ecovillage project when they bought the six-building, 32-unit apartment complex next door. The apartments are being renovated, and will soon get solar panels and other green features. Members of Columbia Ecovillage will live in the apartments and have access to their own CSA garden and the permaculture teaching farm. They'll build a common house in the back end of the current parking lot. Sweet!

http://www.comumbiaecovillage.com

"That's not the community I'd ever live in!"

The man in the back of the room was upset, and walked out. We were just 45 minutes into my workshop-consultation for his cohousing community. Clearly, what I'd said so far had upset him.

This blog entry is in response to Craig's Forum comment on June 4th in the "Researching Your Community" Forum about "Do-ers" and "Be-ers" in cohousing.

I think most cohousers are good-hearted, compassionate people. And I have a working hypothesis that cohousers (and people in intentional communities in general) apply compassion in different ways: some wanting to nurture individuals and others wanting to nurture more abstract community principles.