Conflict Resolution

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Why can't we all just get along? Some percentage of people who join a cohousing community do so because they want everyone to "just get along". Idyllic images of not just knowing your neighbors, but also of really liking to hang out with your neighbors flutter through our heads. And then we...
Views since 5/2014: 413
What shall we discuss as we are forming our communities? Every forming community (I hope!) asks this question and communities that have already moved in give lots of different answers. Many of those answers are in the form of "I wish we'd resolved this" and "we decided x which was irrelevant and...
Views since 5/2014: 1,155
Why is connection so elusive? How can something so universally desired be so difficult to attain in a richly resourced culture like the United States? Especially, how can it be difficult among members of an intentional cohousing community? I believe there are two elements essential for...
Views since 5/2014: 1,638
Several years ago there was a post on Cohousing-L related to the community's legal documents that were written in "legalese." I had recently researched Plain English for Lawyers for a neighbor. She was a single parent trying to set up legal guardianship and financial oversight for her daughter in...
Views since 5/2014: 1,663
As a professional consultant in group dynamics I rarely get asked to work with a group when everything is going fine. Usually they're leaking oil, have a busted leaf spring, or can't seem to shift into third gear—and are hoping for inexpensive repairs from me, the itinerant shade tree mechanic....
Views since 5/2014: 2,336
I’m back from Star Island off the coast of New Hampshire – a week long intentional community of 300 - where I took a workshop on “global compassion.” I’m personally motivated to help create a society of caring, that puts compassion into action, that can reach across the globe to reduce human...
Views since 5/2014: 1,486
Read Alan's first blog on this topic Do you proactively de-escalate ‘diverse’ personalities in your life? I’m facilitating a retreat later this fall about dealing with diverse personalities in Arcosanti, AZ. I’ve been asked by a few people about what the “strength-based” approach I’ll be using...
Views since 5/2014: 3,401
Read Alan's first two blog on this topic Do you proactively de-escalate ‘diverse’ personalities in your life? and Dealing with diverse personalities: Risk vs Protective Factors - Part II Remember the climax of the “Wizard of Oz” when Dorothy gets herself back to Kansas? Good Witch of the North...
Views since 5/2014: 1,718
I thought a question on the cohousing email list what causes conflict in cohousing was an interesting one. There was an element of surprise in the question. Do you allow conflict? Sometimes we paint ourselves to potential new members as rainbows and candy. The usual suspects that cause conflict...
Views since 5/2014: 6,639
In the last week, a colleague sent me the link for a TEDx talk entitled: Conflict: Use it, Don't Defuse It. The two presenters, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, are professional facilitators and they do a good job of laying out their main premise: that conflict is inherently neither good nor...
Views since 5/2014: 2,698

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